We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
