So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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