I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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