I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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