Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
