Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's never too late to be topless.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
