I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
