yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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