Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
