I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
is wine microwaveable?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
