"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
