This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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