had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
