I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
