the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
