he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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