i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
