She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
