I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Enjoy the penises
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
