Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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