We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
and she was petting her beer can
where does the pee come out of this thing
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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