I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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