Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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