i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
