These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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