absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
