On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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