After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I love you.
Bad choice
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
