So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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