maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
