Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
