its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
