oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
