five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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