Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
