WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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