He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
