maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
