Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
