At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
