Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
