you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
