Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
