dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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