I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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