How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
