i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
