Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
