Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
