um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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