He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
