and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
