How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize