How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
