Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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