I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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