Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
