i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
